I hate when my teachers lower my test scores… it’s so degradeing
manager: sir your resume just says “good looking and talented”
me: am I lying though?
manager: …youre right, Im sorry youre hired
dick longer than a middle schoolers instagram bio
put THAT on yo’ banner!
me and my friend natalie were this close to marina last year and it was an equally beautiful and painful moment
this nice old man on the train started talking talking to me about acronyms like LOL and ROFL (which is a conversation I can’t resist) and he told me to get his prototype acronym famous with the kids: FMLO: Farting My Laugh Out
I dont remember this part of the oops music video
If I punch myself and it hurts, am I too weak or too strong?