hoshaway:

Happy Easter Xbox

ruinedchildhood:

twerking while driving

ruinedchildhood:

twerking while driving

bynce:

Gym teacher: “where are your gym shoes”
Me: image

postllimit:

when u use ur boobs to get someone to notice u

image

tawnks:

blastortoise:

blastortoise:

My dick is pi inches long

This is fucking me up a bit because like that means my dick is not bigger than 3 inches but yet it’s infinite like wtf

no it just means your dick is irrational and people hate it

Whats the largest thing youve ever had in your butthole.
Anonymous

jackballs:

flamingno:

jackballs:

i can’t believe you fit lana del rey in your ass

it was a challenge

brbjellyfishing:

ANOTHER ROUND OF SHOTS! Flu shots. For the children and the elderly. They’re especially at risk.

What does it mean when he sings 'All Of Me' in my ear. What does it mean when he looks at me. What does it mean when he leans down the line just to see me around the 11 people that sit between us. What does any of it mean. Because I really really like him. But why would he ever like my long limbs or lightly sunburnt cheeks or stupid small freckles or shapeless straight blonde hair. What could he see in the girl that runs a fast 1/2 mile but can't connect to anyone. I can't believe he would.
Anonymous

what

canadianbussy:

I definitely never used MHIO but now I’m considering it

canadianbussy:

I definitely never used MHIO but now I’m considering it

piccolissimo:

i used to be scared of settling for mediocre but now i think i’d be lucky even to get that.

nothomo:

when ur parents call u for dinner and u see they made your fav

ill reblog my selfie a million times i dont give a fuck
student: can i borrow a pencil
teacher: i don't know, CAN you?
student: yes, also colloquial irregularities occur frequently in any language and since you and the rest of our present company understood my intended meaning, being particular about the distinctions between "can" and "may" is purely pedantic and arguably pretentious